this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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