remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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