Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
