We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
