around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no you cant smoke seaweed
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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