i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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