Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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