Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
