That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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