I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
