Please, let me fuck your mom
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
