I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
