And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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