..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
