Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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