Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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