I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
