I skipped work to stalk him.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
