K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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