I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A bitchslap is in order.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
