If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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