Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
