Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!