WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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