i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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