If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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