Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
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He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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