Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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