Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
