Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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