is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
