Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I forget how to act sober
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize