did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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