you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
