Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
