I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
