i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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