My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
