i don't like sucking hair
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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