She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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