just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
