My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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