respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
