how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
