sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
