If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
