my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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