You don't have asthma, your pregnant
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
