Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
