That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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