You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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