everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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