As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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