The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pants are for mortals
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
