Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
