the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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