I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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