Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
MIDGETS
????
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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