Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you win again, gameday.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
