The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
