she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize