just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
