weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im holly from the hills drunk
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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