so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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